Christmas Spirit (&struggle)

Happy Holidays everyone, I hope you are all enjoying this time, and are surrounded by light, love, and laughter.

It was a quiet Christmas here, just me, my daughter, and our four furbabies. We will gather with extended family as soon as possible.

On my social media and in real life, I am an optimist, always trying to post positive and inspiring messages. When I am in pain, I am a bit more quiet and subtle.

(Except here on my Labeled disabled blog where I explore my darker feelings and mental illness)

In an effort to be authentic, (or to beyouthentic😉) I think it is important to not only share the good stuff but to also take a moment to share the struggles as well.

The truth is my family has been through the wringer as of late. These last few months have been the most challenging of an already difficult year.

We’ve had four family members with Covid, one did not survive and one was quarantined through Christmas, two others with the flu. Two family members were hospitalized for mental health and one fam member had a concussion. This was on top of an emotionally triggering custody battle that was thankfully dismissed. Personally, I’ve been struggling with my depression which has been pretty severe lately. I even have had self-harm and suicidal thoughts, and I had a day trip to the ER for an asthma exacerbation and bronchitis.

As I reflect on all of this, I still only feel gratitude, because I know that each of these could have been (and have been) much worse.

On Christmas eve, I wrapped gifts and counted my blessings.

I listened to my Christmas playlist with all the classics that I’ve listened to since I was a little girl, and I felt the spirit&magic of Christmas& the light and love of Jesus.

While it’s true I am a witchy, hippy type of gal who celebrates the Earth and her plant friends, I also carry the compassion of Christ in my heart and have had a relationship with him since I was a child. His picture near my bed was my light through the dark. I conversed with him and my guardian angel each night before sleep.

Christmas Spirit is never without some struggle.

Just as healing and growth are not without pain and change.

As a collective, we have all been through the wringer the last couple of years, and I know there are many people much worse off than me or my family.

I am sending big hugs and blessings out to the Universe.

I pray that with hope, love, faith, and kindness, we will all persevere and come out a brighter world on the other side.

Cheers to the magic and spirit of this time of year, along with the struggle that if we try, we will find healing and wisdom in.💖🙏